When writing, it seems that my forte calls out a ‘negative’ that I’ve been feeling, then turns it into a positive, which pretty much sums up how I go about life most days. As mentioned in my previous articles, I’ve morphed into a glass-half-full kind of girl. And with that overly optimistic new persona that I’ve luckily adopted, no one tells you how exhausting it gets to be the ‘positive one.’ While attempting to master the art of being positive without taking it to a toxic level that lacks authenticity, I’ve also been fortunate enough to learn how to embrace every feeling I have, not just those with a positive connotation attached to them. In terms of internet life, my other social media outside of this blog is highly romanticized and filtered, to be honest. To someone who doesn’t know me and comes across my page, you’d think I all had it figured out. A 20-year-old girl from Canada is studying law abroad in the UK!?! And alone?! ‘Look at her go’! While I enjoy positive affirmations from others, as one does, for the tiny glimpse they see into my life, surely everyone’s got to understand and relate to the fact that you cannot feel like superwoman every day. Some days, you’ll be excited to get home to share great days with the ones you love, and some days, you sit alone, wallowing and wondering why every day doesn’t feel like sunshine like you want it to. However, for many, most days just feel mediocre. I feel I portray myself very real and genuinely (or at least try to) - in a ‘what you see is what you get’ sense. And what I love most about having my blog is that it gives me the freedom to be more raw about life and how I’m feeling, which either leaves people feeling seen and empowered or frankly questioning my sanity.
Now, even before moving abroad, I’ve always been someone who has felt every emotion thoroughly. You can seriously read every emotion on my face. I’ve learned to embrace my sensitivity, and now, with my blog, I share it! Doing so, sharing moments with a community of friends. And one thing friends strangely bond over is our moments of defeat and vulnerability. It feels like a weight off your chest, as if you're slowly unveiling a sense of humanity you once tried to keep a secret. Everyone wants to be there for the person who’s smiling and is seemingly happy all of the time, which is, yes, at times, needed and visually appealing. Yet to me, lacks depth and a sense of authenticity. More so, what exudes at times an overload of authenticity and brutal honesty are the people you find that embrace imperfection and make you feel safe when you just want to let go and be a ball of negativity.
Throughout my life, I have found that there is always this standard for people, especially successful young women, to be extraordinary. Extraordinary in the sense that mediocrity shouldn’t even be in the realm of what someone successful should aim for. While it’s fair to say that no one is necessarily ‘aiming’ for mediocrity, I do think that those who thrive most embrace those days of ‘mediocrity’, and days that just feel ‘blah’. ‘Blah’ days, meaning that you woke up for work feeling like you needed to rot in bed all day, and instead of forcing yourself to go and have self-deprecating thoughts on why you weren’t mentally tough enough to ‘just go,’ you texted your boss and went back to bed. ‘Blah’ days also meaning, when you feel sad, you don’t get embarrassed for crying; you take your time to be completely (what is perceived as) unproductive and take the steps necessary to strive to bounce back the next day.
The days of using emotions as a sign of weakness are over. In light of many recent events, as we all know, the world has sparked and is constantly igniting many emotions in people - leaving some feeling on top of the world and some feeling scared and unheard. However you think, the common ground between people who disagree on specific issues is that they feel. How beautifully humane is it that people feel so passionate about emotionally responding to something enough build community and create conversation. Even if you may not feel the same way they do, it's impossible to put a grade scheme on what someone feels emotionally connected to. To openly discuss beliefs, even if they’re controversial, unpopular or even hit too close to home, all anyone wants to feel is seen and understood. Because if there’s one thing this world needs more of its understanding. Not necessarily having the strength to all agree on one thing, but having the emotional maturity and sense of humanity to accept where someone is coming from, and allowing them to feel all they need to feel to move forward.
Emotions are powerful, and more so now than ever, I feel that, frankly, emotional availability is something many generations lack. Perhaps, I’m using this article to share with my older crowd of readers that people feel … a lot, whether you choose to believe so or not. Normalize being okay to celebrate and share every feeling. Making sure to prioritize growth, and making the conscience effort to change our mindsets to see emotion as a strength rather than a sign of defeat. And always remember, whenever you feel necessary, take your day to rot and embrace feeling like sh!t, you're not alone:)
Talk soon,
Gracee
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